News Flash

Former Governor Released from Jail after serving 7 year Scentence:
Former Governor of Giza Maher el Khamissi was released Saturday from el Mazraa prision. Khamissi was released after serving 7 years of his 15 year prision scentence. Khamissi pleaded Guilty to bribery charges in 2001 after tape recordings known to the media as the "Wadi Hof" tapes that were anonymously submitted to the Attorney General's Office. the tapes included a 90 minute conversation between el Khamissi and a unidentified woman only referred to as "Lola" discussing the particulars of delivering 18.5 million dollars to swiss bank accounts, and certain profits to be made from the development of a landfill in Wadi Hof into a condominum project.
El Khamissi made a brief statement infront of el Mazraa prison upon his release saying:
" I have served my punishment and return to you as a rehabilitated man, I am certain that my return to society will be a smooth one, and i have faith in God that i will be able to continue my endeavor to give back to the community."
When asked, el Khamissi did not reveal the identity of "Lola" claiming that Egyptian law only penalizes the public official taking the bribe and was not under legal duty to reveal her identity. Since his incarceration, the property at Wadi Hof has still not been developed, and remains as a landfill. "Lola" was never found, however the authorities have sufficient reason to beleive she has fled the country and a composite sketch of her , is still at Airport security along with all her known aliases have been logged into the Airport Incoming Watch List.
El Khamissi also added that he has no plans for running for public office once more, and choses to retire to his family.

Star Defender Fired by New Club Boss: Essawi is too fat, and has an obsession with Papa Johns:
rumors leaked to fans of the National Sporting Club F.C were later confirmed by Football Coach Henry Kleats that the new club boss in last weeks board meeting has dismissed Haytham el Essawi from playing on the clubs team. The rumors began to become "worrisome" after Essawi failed to attend last nights training. Kleats who attended the meeting quotes club boss Hanasiro saying:
" Essawi is turning into one fat fuck, the guy has man titties now!, whenever i attend the trainings all i see is a fat man in our number 3 Jersey eating a pizza, last time i saw him yelling to one of the waiters demanding a bottle of Heinz Ketchup and throwing what seems to be another brand of Ketchup in objection...i cant eat without my Heinz he says..."
Haytham el Essawi who has served as a defender was always been an integral part of the team for the past 5 seasons, and was inducted into the hall of fame after his stellar performance in the Clubs games in 2005's annual championship. El Essawi has recently been gaining considerable media attention as a result of his weight gain allegedly bought about from excessive overeating and his recent marriage to famed belly dancer "Samya Mawaheb" , the couple were also scrutinized in many tabloids late last year when they were photographed kissing passionately in the corner of a local bar in Agouza during a live performance of famous rock band "Egoz".

Mischa Carter attends annual Feteer eating contest in Ard el Lewa:
Egyptian Movie Star Mischa Carter attends the annual Feteer eating contest held by an orphanage in the random housing project of Ard el Lewa. When Asked, Mischa said "Eating is one of the most important acts committed by humanity, and we must teach children that eating is a good thing, indeed the media in recent years has portrayed beauty in a size 2, which leads to people depriving themselves from a beautiful thing such as eating". Despite being a Size 2 herself, Mischa admits to eating too much for her own good, claiming her motto in life to be " I eat, therefore I am". Mischa is rumored to be associated with acclaimed TV producer Moby D'eaucclit Chaupper's new untitled project set for release in 2011.
"I am in love with the script and have shown a keen interest..I even met with Michael last Saturday!"
PR Mogul simply known as "Michael" is also rumored to be pitching in with the project that is set to revolutionize the way we see TV. the two met at a Cafe in Mohandiseen regularly frequented by Michael to discuss the prospects of Mischa's involvement in Chaupper's Project.
Michael and Moby D'eaucclit Chaupper are close friends since 2006, they were introduced by Chaupper's wife Lana Deets.

Italian "Immobiliare" to fund Next 5 lines of Greater Cairo Subway:
The Undersecretary of Finance & Planning at the Ministry of Transport Mr.Adolf Kane in a press conference has stated that the Ministry has "Secured a commitment from the Italian conglomerate to finance the next 5 lines of the Cairo Subway system" which would bring the total number of lines running under Cairo to a whopping 8 lines. the expected extensions are supposed to span the entire capital with its expansions to conclusively link the 6th of October city and Sheikh Zayed Districts to the Fifth District in New Cairo & el Sherouk City. Mr. Kane also stated that "Immobiliare have committed 16 Billion Dollars for the project", prospects of further expansion were disucssed in the presence of Engineer Hesham Taqui Mandarin Managing Director of Taqui Madarin Group to extend the Sherouk and New Cairo lines to reach the Groups mega development project "Metropolis" situated in the eastern outskirts of Cairo.
The Memorandum of Understanding was signed between His Excellency the Minister of Transport, and Immobiliare CEO B.J. Harrison.

Kingpin Weds Grand Mufti's Daughter: Crime and Religion in Holy Union
Amidst the cheers of supporters and Religious chants, Damien King, alleged underworld Kingpin celebrated his legal union to the Grand Mufti's Daughter in Mashyakhet el Azhar this Afternoon. Spectators could both hear and see Jubilation in the air in the form of cheers and confetti which brings an end to the controversy regarding the alleged Kingpin's social behaviour.
His choice in a pious bride such as the Grand Mufti's Daughter is one met with both concern and resentment by most conservatives due to King's criminal association. King's notoriety was bought to the media after his trial and acquittal in the controversial shooting of Daughter of suspected Arms Dealer Abdel Salam Fayek in early 1999.
"This wedding is backed by political motivations by Mr.King to appear as an upstanding citizen in Egyptian Society, we find it offensive that religion be used for politcal gain and public acceptance" commented Islam el Tayeb assistant dean of el Azhar University for Shaira Affairs.
King's proponents declined to comment stating that such allegations should not even be dignified with an answer, however King's neighbour Simeon Parais was available for comment.
"Damien is a very lucky man, for it looks like he has found love."
Details for the wedding have not yet been disclosed, nor travel plans for the Honeymoon, however given Mr.King's general extravagance and his affection toward Las Vegas, social columnists have speculated with confidence that the now wed couple would most certainly be visiting the city.

Sophie Monet to reveal latest collection of Works in Townhouse Gallery:
Eccentric contemporary artist and influential socialite Sophie Monet has announced the display of her works at the Townhouse Gallery next week under the theme of "Diamonds & Dogs" . Bacca Royd the Townhouse Curator has commented saying that he is "very impressed with Monet's new collection, which still proves that Monet has alot to offer to the artistic community". Monet has received tremendous controversy after designing set pieces for the 2004 summer block buster " I am the Man" starring Menna Chawki and then rising star Adham Fares followed by the keen interest displayed by Senate member and minority party leader Jimmy Bonspiero who purchased one of her pieces at an auction for a whopping 650,000 LE, the piece was a clay sculpture of a naked lady chewing on what seems to be a grooms hand.

3 youngsters found shot dead on Arab League Boulevard: Police ward off suspicions of gang violence:
An idling car was found on the North side of Arab League Boulevard early this morning by a parking attendant receiving his shift. The Silver Daewoo Lanos contained the bodies of 2 youngsters in both front seats. The youngsters apparently died of multiple gunshot wounds. Police investigators rushed to the scene and after examination have managed to pick up 71 empty shell casings off the floor and around the car. the casings seem to be of high caliber suggesting the use of an automatic sub machine gun. A third body was discovered in the trunk of the car, wrapped in an Iranian silk rug, cause of death is still to be determined after performing the state appointed autopsy in the coroner's office. A half consumed cherry flavored "Chupa Chups" lollipop was also found at the scene.
Police officers at the Scene have declined to give official comment claiming that such comment would impede ongoing investigators and assured all business and residents of the Boulevard that the perpetrators will be bought to justice and that the locals need not fear for their safety.
A high ranking police official who wishes to remain anonymous has assured us that this incident is in no way gang related in an attempt to ward off suspicions that the area will once again be plagued by gang violence.
The Arab League Boulevard has historically been plagued in the past decade with ongoing gang violence between two rival gangs fighting for control over the South side of the Boulevard. However after continous Government crackdowns in recent years has led to the gradual dissapearance of such violence. The last reported incident was in August 2003 when random fire was sprayed over a local fast food restaurant after on a Thursday night where 7 people were killed and 12 were injured.

Quote of the Week

" Never think you are smart enough to figure out what is going on on the other side of the World, for you lack the awareness...

Never Think you have the Foresight to figure out what is going to happen tomorrow or even tonight...you lack the ability to grasp all the possible variables that may take place between now and then....

Don't fool yourself into knowing whats happening on the other side of town.... for its not your neighborhood...

You'd be kidding yourself to believe you know the events and thoughts being cooked up in the other room..for you can never know what goes on behind closed doors...

You can never tell what exactly is being said on the table to your right...for you lack respect of other people's privacy....

And most importantly...

Do not commit the unforgivable mistake of believing you can know, what goes on inside the mind of the person right in front of you..for you lack the ability to determine, which of the first five mistakes he is currently committing..."

Osiris Kane,

Signing off

5 Reasons why a Banker shouldnt Date a Lawyer

1- Lawyer receives phone call from banker on banker's lunch break:

"Hi Dear....how are you?"
" Im okay, stuck in the middle of traffic trying to reach a judge before he signs off for the day"
"shouldn't you be on a lunch break now? im having mine...and im eating a lovely salad..."
"Lunch break ? whaddya mean?...lol"
"anyways, i was calling to see if you wanna meet up tonight?"
"sure thing ill call you after work, at around 7"
" Honey, i finish at 3"
" ill call you at around 7"

Banker wonders what does Lawyer do all day, or is he just playing hard to get? i mean he is a lawyer.
They meet up at 8 for dinner..Lawyer is famished for not having any time to eat all day..

"Banker, what are you having?"
"Nothing, i had a salad for lunch?"
"So?"
" im full"
" what do you mean full? get this straight...you are a Banker, not a model...models would live on a salad for three days...you are a normal person with a normal job, so eat like normal people and stop acting anorexic..you think i find it appealing you have no appetite? what you dont get is......"

Lawyer is interrupted by his ringing phone, he takes the call and excuses himself from the table for privacy. Lawyer returns less than a minute later, picks up his personal effects
"I'm leaving, Duty calls..."
"What about dinner?"
"ill have a salad, itll make me full"


2- Banker is socializing with her co-workers, Debit, zippy and Dollars...

Dollars ( who is always seeking an opportunity to date banker) asks: Banker, i heard you are dating this lawyer...is he treating you nicely?

Banker:...its not of your concern Dollars,
Dollars: whaddya mean not of my concern, you are my friend, i am worried about you...you know what they say about lawyers..
Banker: well why dont you come to bed with us then and evaluate our sex life..maybe then you wouldnt be worried
Dollars: sheesh, take it easy ya 3azizi....i was only trying to be a friend...but you know what, i can tell from your attitude that you arent really loving the law hehehe....
Zippy: Dollars would you shut up?

Dollars leaves, and looks back with a confident smile, reflecting his satisfaction of getting under Banker's skin,

Zippy: Honey, is everything going well with him? cause if it isnt, you know that you can tell me...these lawyers can be tricky you know, dah gheer inni i heard that he is one sneaky sonnofabitch...

Banker: enough, thats my Boyfriend you are talking about okay? and so what if hes a lawyer? what is he going to con his own partner? why dont you ever look at it the other way round? hes a lawyer, he knows el 7arakat kollaha, hence, hes qualified enough to prevent any harm from coming my way,

Debit: maybe, but alot of them lie, how do you know he loves you for sure and isnt after your dads money?

Banker: have you seen him? do you know anything about him? fine then just simply shut up.
Zippy: Honey, we care about you...and we are worried
Banker: worried based on what? you have nothing...
Debit: He's a lawyer...thats worrisome enough

3- Lawyer is sitting in a police station, talking to a Cop friend, Cop asks him if hes planning on tying the knot soon, since hes done so good for himself in so little time,

Lawyer: no, not anytime soon
Cop: and you arent seeing anyone?
Lawyer: no, actually i am
Cop: a student?
Lawyer: Banker,
Cop: you sneaky mother!!! you, well if you are gonna run away with the money, please gimme a heads up and ill have clean passports for you, but i get a nice gift dont i?

4- "I met the Chairman today" exclaimed the banker.."and i think he likes my work...you are talking to a VIP now..i do work with the Chairman directly"
"Good for you," answered the Lawyer
"Thats all you have to say?"
"should there be something else i am saying?....sorry i dont get this whole i met the Chairman thing,"

"well yeah , i dont blame you cause you work in a cesspool of vice with cops and criminals, you dont know what the business world is like.."

"okay, the bank is big...very big but sorry, i met YOUR Chairman 3 times a week for 6 months of last year, and frankly i wasnt the least bit impressed."

"you did Work for our Chairman?"

"i didnt WORK FOR HIM, he wanted our advice, and wanted us to represent YOUR bank in business work ...the stuff that goes on in that world of yours that you claim i dont understand."

The next day, Banker walks into the bank all smiling and gleaming, she sees Dollars in her face, she chuckles knowing she couldnt be happier, for all she can think of is "My Boyfriend did work for the Chairman!"

5- "where were you last Friday, i called you 10 times..." demanded the banker
"Work"
"On a friday?"
" people still get arrested on Fridays too you know"
"Oh yes and thats why you went shopping for lingerie at Victorias Secret on that day"
It took him a minute to gather the evidence together...
"My Credit Card Records...you Bitch...thats private.."
" so is she better than me?"
" Banker, stop the drama will you?"
Banker hangs up..goes into her room crying, she falls onto her bed, only to realize she crushed something in the process...it was a black bag, with lingerie in it, and a card from him, saying something nice.. she felt like shit. Her mother opens the door, and tells her.. linda her best friend dropped it off this morning.

Where were you that day?: The Story of the Assassin & The Ladies of Liberty

"They'd always tell me we were good for one another, an inseperable duo, perfect teamwork, a symphony orchestrated with harmony when put to action"

"...i always doubted that.My main problem is i only think in terms of I, never in terms of We, so i dont care what We are, i am mostly preoccupied with what I are."


" ٍSo are you saying we should both go our seperate ways Josie?"
"No Kate, im not saying that out of cruelty, nor am i trying to belittle the times and great memories we had, nor the successes we acheived, but i think we are two different people who do what we do differently, im sure you will find someone to do things the way you like them to be done, and so will i ?"


"What do you mean? we have great chemistry!"

"No Kate...take Moscow, remember what happened there? we sucked, we made fools of ourselves, not only that but we almost got ourselves killed"

Kate took all the spoken words to heart, knowing not how to respond. What was being said was not only hurtful, but Kate knew that ending this partnership would be the end of her in this market. She can't pull her wieght without Josie as a Partner...

Their dream was finally over. she could kiss her career as a Liberty Lady goodbye. She sulked her way back to her car. stared at it and sized up the yellow sportscar as if evaluating whether she was chasing the right dreams or not. She could see Josie's reflection on the hood, then she was gone...Josie dissapeared.

Kate looked back only to find Josie dropped on the floor...in a pool of her own blood, emanating from a hole between her eyebrows...
she ran to Josie's Body....looked at her in awe...
"Its him she thought...Its Anubis"
She looked around, her eyes in frantic search to corroborate her conclusions...she finds the dark man staring from the rooftops...white as snow, yet darker than the night. grimacing at her in ridicule.

Three Hours Later:

There i was at a street corner cafe, patiently waiting for a business executive friend of mine i was supposed to meet up and make amends with. We sort of fell out a few years back, it was silly and i guess it was about time we sorted our issues out. i was sipping on some evening Earl Grey tea along with a stale croissant that looked like a deformed crab with severed legs...with the white cheese oozing out of it from the other side everytime i took a bite, i was wondering why did i come here in the first place.
I spotted my friend from across the street, he was enthusiastically waving at me in a way that bought attention. maybe a little too much attention. I guess i was lucky something else was about to happen that would get all the attention the street had to offer. remember this is mid afternoon, it shouldnt get more interesting than a guy in suit fumbling with white cheese oozing out of his croissant only to be warmly greeted by another executive from across the street.

Then...I saw him,
They say only a mere few on earth had the chance to make direct eye contact with him and walk away unscathed. He was on the far end of the street, sitting in the driver seat of a champagne colored sedan. Camera in hand and newspapers on dashboard. He was too far away to be spotted by anyone in the cafe, but the afternoon setting sun just reflected and bounced over the lens of his camera. Guess i was lucky, and guess it wasnt my day to die yet. In less than an instant of processing the image i was seeing, i could hear a sudden clatter of cups and saucers, along with cutlery landing on the floor behind me. My instinct told me to duck,
My curiousity told me to look behind me...
Kate emerges standing up as if she was buried alive under that table, and was struggling to grasp a breath of air that would restore her to life. In her hands, the shiniest M-16 i have ever seen in my life...and she starting firing.

Ill admit i love the sound of gunfire, be it coming from a block away or close enough to singe the hairs on my arms, but with my instincts on overdrive, i realized instantly that i was in the line of fire.

I cant remember how many bullets were fired. but it seemed like an eternity. I was face on the ground, ass elevated into the air in a failed attempt to shelter both my head and elbows under my knees. Im sure in any other situation i would have been the cause of a shower of giggles rather than ricochetting bullets and bouncing casings.
The smell of cordite dominated my nostrils, and the tire screeching did the same to my ears...all with a soundtrack of lead projectiles travelling faster than 330 meters per second, shot at intervals less than a second apart.

The moment i rise, feeling its safe enough to run like a chicken that just got its head wringed off by some mexican, i assess the situation to try to make of what happened.

Nothing, gone...
No Anubis,
No Kate....
I run over to my friend accross the street. only to find him riddled with bullets, choking on his own blood. I frantically yell for help while aimlessly shaking him to prevent the life from leaving him.

A few minutes later, he gasps in my arms...and utters his last testimonials, declaring No God but God, and Mohamed as his Prophet.

One Month later:
I'm sitting on the beach chair...right by the shore, reading Ibrahim Eissa's latest book, you can see a straw hut in the background, almost a hundred meters behind me, a hut ive called home for the past 27 days. Havent seen a single human apart from Manolo since. Manolo comes once a week by boat, with supplies to last me till he comes back again. he should be coming from the neighbouring port within the hour.
I hear the humming of an engine not so far away, it must be Manolo...i look to the horizon to find a little boat tugging at the waves. As Manolo approached in his boat, I noticed he had someone on board with him.Yes it was her...
not Kate...
someone else.
By the time Manolo docked on the shore, She was already at the foot of the beach chair, showering me with questions, while struggling with the sand sticking to her now wet shoes.
"Why did you leave?
Im here for you, we all are...
Why are you doing this to yourself?
Why are you doing this to those who care about you?
Do you think he is happy seeing you like this?
Are you okay?
Do you know how much i love you?
Will you let me take care of you?"
"Darling Im here for you" she reassured me...
I answered back,

"Where were you that day? Why didnt you stop the bullets? why didn't you operate on him to save him? why didn't you take him in your car to the hospital on time? why didnt you tell him not to walk on that side of the street? why did you allow Kate to have an M-16? why didnt you prevent her from shooting? why didnt that man die in another way? why did you let my friend die? what were you doing that day...answer me? you were sitting with your friends in college talking about how much i make you happy werent you?"

"Kane, what you are asking for...no human cant provide, i didnt stop the bullets, because im not superman, i didnt operate because im not a surgeon, i didnt take him in my car because i dont have one, i didnt warn him before hand because i do not see into the future, i didnt help because i am human..no human can do what you ask for..."

"Then i dont want to know any humans..."

"Honey, dont do this, dont spoil a good thing, you know what, we'll get through this, together. don't destroy a good thing...we're great for one another, we're an inseparable duo, a perfect team.."

What would my answer be?......

Four Months earlier we had a similar discussion, i was trying to break it off, because i felt i was burdened by her presence, i was going through a rough time, facing trouble at work that followed me home, and at the same time was expected to worry and live with her the burdens of daily college life, and her aspirations for graduating and becoming a career woman. I also asked her where was she that day?

I will always ask her...where were you that day?...

My Man! : The Tale of A Rat

“I smell a rat..”
“In the Year of the Rat a lot of Boys will Disappear..”

Regrettably enough, this conversation does not really take place in a sewer, although I would be curious enough to know what kind of conversations do really take place down there other than the choice of toppings Michelangelo ( the Ninja Turtle) would prefer on his Pizza.

It takes place in a Graveyard..

And no, the backdrop isn’t under the moonlight for added suspense, it is actually midday, and someone, amidst all his family, friends and business associates, is being buried..

There truly isn’t anything more eventful than the funeral of a head of a family, who refused to name an heir.
Reasons withheld, one can assume not naming a successor maybe due to an inherent fear of being responsible for such an heir after his own passing, others can say mistrust, or merely downright incompetence of those who walked in the old man’s shadows.
My humble opinion is merely:

Mischief

Seriously, what a better way to eternalize your deeds than to create a vacuum that will lead to a struggle for power, with blood, tears, drama and money as fodder for many years to come? Eventually order will replace chaos. It’s a constant, it always has been, and a lot of blood every now and then is always healthy. That’s probably what he was thinking before he croaked.

The Departed is Paternally succeeded by two sons, Big Al “Doughboy” Bonspiero, and

Little Jimmy “Two shoes” Bonspiero.
His Consigliere was Sal “Shush” Spatafore, a very loyal advisor, always in the shadows and meant business.

If succession stayed in the family, it wouldn’t leave either of the three, but the pie is too big to stay in the family. There was the Gaddi crew, headed by Alfie Mancuso and Michael Zitti. Your local selection of business men that although aren’t really organized had enough with being muscled to do business, your small time dope dealers and street corner pimps who although ambitious are stupid enough to think they can fill big shoes like that, and believe it or not, you should be bothered by smalltime, cause smalltime not only has nothing to lose, they don’t know the rules, so they might end up doing something stupid. Of course 90% of the time anyone who does something stupid ends up getting clipped, or even worse.. but it’s the 10% that should bother any wise guy with eyes on the future.

Then, you had the Campus Street boys, four stupid kids that met up daily at Mama Afi’s house , she used to bake brownies for all the kids in the niehgbourhood and tell em stories of the good old days, and feeding their head with garbage about how they can change the world. Mama Afi had two favorites, Alfie “the Nigger” Leotardo and Sammy “Quasi” George.

“Quasi”, pronounced “Kwazeeh” is a real stand up kid, but his only problem is he doesn’t look the part, he practically has no neck, and is a developing an immature hunch on his back, just like Quasimodo, his other problem is he loves attention, he’ll practically offer you his wife in bed if you take em out to the bars and give em a good time. He’s only married to her cause mama said so. Quasi’s dad is into business, he’s actually one of the locals who wants to see this all go away, imagine how he felt when he found out his kid is into this thing of ours.

Leotardo wasn’t a nigger. His complexion was very dark they used to joke that his mother used to fool around in Harlem, his dad got so worried he actually DNA tested poor little Alfie, but turns out he’s his.

Alfie had a cousin , Calvin “See See” Corrado, they called him See See cause he used to be a peeping tom, and it’s a play on his initials which were C.C.
See See was one naughty mamas boy, I mean he was a good lookin fella, and was all about the ladies. although younger than the Nigger, the Nigger used to look up to him bigtime, he had the Nigger wrapped around his finger.

The Fourth of the bunch was “Little” Willy Gaultieri…you can tell why they call him little Willy, ill give u a hint, the name was coined up in the locker room after gym class.
He’s probably the smartest in all of them, but could use a little guts, I mean the fella is a Gaultieri for God’s sakes, what the hell is he afraid of. Gaultieri and See See actually started off having beef, Gaultieri was dating some woman See See was banging, See See couldn’t hear of it, but now although they mended and got rid of the bad blood, See See still scares the shit outta Little Willy.

And if all these Wiseguys weren’t enough for you, you had the Feds watching down on all of this, wanting to get rid of it all.

A smart question to ask is, where do I stand in all of this, well initially I’m supposed to be working with Big Al Bonspiero, am I loyal to him? Yes but he’s actually taken me on loan from Spatafore’s crew, still in the same family but they are of different strokes.

Big Al was always the old man’s favorite, he was smart, silent about it and he believed that everyone should earn as long as the powers that be get to wet their beak, if Al takes over its going to be good for everyone, as long as Al gets a cut, very small but still a cut.

Sal the “Shush” does things a little differently, he’s old fashioned, not only that, but he’s a Calabrese (Calabrian)…those guys have hot blood and are downright vicious. Sal would have a tighter hold on everything, and keep it more incognito, if anyone is loud about it, well..hard luck for them, he don’t appreciate noise very much.

Then…you have Two Shoes Bonspiero… this kid went to private school, Ivy league education, the works hes the golden child, the old man’s favorite, and a few years before the old man went away, was being groomed. Now I wouldn’t want to diss the Don on this, but this guy is gonna bring it all down to the ground and turn our thing legit. I mean hes not even made and already rumored to be talking with the Feds. He’s also tapped the Campus Street Boys, who really think hes hot stuff, well apart from Quasi, who thinks he’s not cut out for our thing.

You wanna anticipate this power struggle right , you gotta put the Gaddi crew into the equation. They got ties to the church, and have become really popular nowadays, they get money from the church and skimming off the Sunday donations, they actually sue people that owe them money, that’s their method of enforcement. They claim that violence is below them, hey nobody loves beating a fellow Pisan’s teeth in, but a mans gotta make a livin don’t he?

Everyone was there at the funeral, all dressed in their suits, some hid behind sunglasses, while others did under hats. What people don’t get, you only get to wear a hat if you are made, made as in you are directly taxed by the Big Boys back home. And there was See See in a black Cuban and a smirk looking all dolled up like a fuckin lady.
Spatafore gave him shit for it:

“he headed to a costume party afterwards?... Lemme guess ees going as a fuckin fairy aint he?”
His Goombas provided chuckles of laughter for a finale. I was glad that others shared my exact sentiment. Then one of them utters..
“Can you imagine the fucking balls on that kid, boss? I mean eee goes over to the North side, earning on them wall street types charging them bucketloads of vig…the greedy motherfucker, I mean im calling my stockbroker, and after he advises me on some short selling stunt , he asks me do I know fuckin See See Corrado,….Know em? I used to date his fuckin mudda back in high school…hehehehe”
Spatafore answers back with his few words:
“let the little kid earn..with time, he’ll learn”
“yeah but he should respect his elders, and learn without having to spend a stint in college” interrupted Big Al.

“ The Beauty of the Pecking Order Al, is that it’s a system, the kid is bothering us, hes causing too much trouble, should we act? If hes that loud he’ll probably step on someones toes powerful enough to do something about it, so why get our hands dirty when someone else can do the job for us? Or he could just get pinched, picked up by the Feds, or even offed by one of his bitter Goomahs.. as long as it aint our toes he aint stepping on, he can go Fatillia Cosi!”

“well it depends on what exactly do you call stepping Sal, remember King?”
“fuckin aaay…”
“yeah the one who helped us out with the Maltese..”
“what about em…?”

“Turns out the little Gaultieri kid, the one who shits his pants whenever u mention his fuckin goomah..sent King a little message, nothing fancy…but still a message, Fuckin K is in the middle of his honeymoon and a couple of little Willy’s boys shake em down cause hes on their turf…King tells em hes a friend of yours Willy’s boys tell em we heard no nothing bout a friend of Doughboy’s coming down here…King just gave dem what he had…”
“What did they take”
“Kings Gold Watch…and keys to a brand new SUV..not only that, but King told me somethin about little Willy too…little Willy is been crying to a fuckin psychiatrist about takin too much pressure wid business, King used to bang the psychiatrist Willy is seein..she wanted to show off to King tellin em shes analyzing a fuckin Don so he fuckin put two and two together…
“King could just be beefin up against the little guy..”
“ It gets worse…the Psychiatrist, you know who she banging now? A fuckin Fed… now I didn’t leave it at that, I mean King is a friend of ours he’s not only a friend of yours.. so I followed the fuck around for Kings sake, turns out the Fed..he’s the same fuck that busted Johnny Sacks from Jersey”

I couldn’t contain myself and crossed the yard to where the Campus Street Boys were paying their respects to Jimmy Two Shoes, they were literally glued to the guy better than his own shadow. They were bragging as to how cool it was to be extorting the stockbrokers, giving the money to Jimmy who then invests it with the Stockbrokers themselves.

See See: you know Jimmy, this last week, little Willy got you a hell of a cool present..
Two Shoes: really?
Little Willy: yeah a Lincoln Navigator..
Two Shoes: is it Hot?
Little Willy: Nah, belonged to some guy who claims to know your brother.. some hotshot called King..
Two Shoes: Damien King?....aww you assholes, what you think you are doing? Do you have any fucking idea who’s car you just stole?
Little Willy: who, he didn’t put that much of a fight
Two Shoes : yes, cause he’ll get it the fuck back , with your heads as hood ornaments on it too!, what the fuck were you guys doing in history class…you never heard of Damien King?...
See See: yeah I heard of him, actually messed with him once, he didn’t do nothing, he was trying to fuck this bitch from Iran I was doing…I told em to go fuck himself…he’s a fucking pussy

Jimmy Slaps See See on the head in the middle of his Father’s funeral..it was a scene.. See See’s hat fell to the ground, he picked it up, swallowed the lump in his throat, and sat under a tree.. turns out that bitch from Iran was doing both See See and the Nigger in the same time. She duped them both outta some quick cash and went onto work some bigger fish..What See See , The Nigger nor King himself didn’t know was that she Worked Jimmy too…

King took care of the problem, King did like he was told…Jimmy called him, asked him to take care of it, and King did it, no questions asked.. that’s why everyone like Sal, Al, the Gaddis , they all love King…even the Feds don’t ask questions when King is involved.. he’s helped them with some stuff too..

I wanted to make sure See See and little Willy get the big picture..

“Boys, you messed up big time…gimme a call if u need help and lemme see what I can do…”


A few days later, I pick up my phone..its Willy..he wants to talk…
I meet him at their spot..its an old café right in front of campus..he tells me how Sal had a talk with them in the presence of Jimmy…they will have to give restitution to King for the Car, and submit to his mercy..Sal has orders from back home to get rid of both See See and little Willy, See See is refusing the solution and throwing it all on Willy..

“ I’m thinking of blaming it all on Jimmy..since he’s got our backs..he’s too big to take a fall”
“That is not a very wise thing to do..theyre all fixing you to fall..even See See..”
“why?”

I gave him the shock of his life…

“Your Goomah and See See still meet up…she has a soft spot for him”
“See See is fixing me to take the fall?”
“look Jimmy is all too big…you think hes going to give a rats ass about how much you guys make him with that stockbroker scam?..hes not gonna fall for a couple of Assholes like you..they’re already painting you as the rat Willy..”

“What the fuck are you talking about…”
“They know about the Shrink…and Johnny Sacks”

Willy if I were you..its a good year for you and the rest of the Boys…to run..
Get lost..be the Lost Boys...Run ,Willy run!..it’s the Year of the Rat Willy.. and in the Year of the Rat…a lot of Boys will Disappear..


The events that unraveled the next few days indicated a lot…the drums of war can be heard..
- Damien King said he wont take restitution, as for the Lost Boys..they can take whatever they made off King and shove it up their asses..at least they die loaded…
- Willy stood his ground, didn’t run..
- The Nigger hid at his in-laws house,
- See See went to the mattresses, said he aint going down without a fight,
- Sal is blaming the whole mess on Jimmy for making the little boys play in the wrong league,
Jimmy is disavowing any ties to the little boys, however is provoked by Sal
- Big Al…is sitting there, waiting for the winning side to join…

As for me, well I went back to the office, with a cup of coffee in my hand, to the same monotonous ringtone on the office phone, and the same secretary I have had in ages uttering the same scentence every time she picks up…

“FBI RICO Task Force, Good Afternoon how may I help you”

Reflections from the Pacific Rim

Day One , 19:45 - Changi Airport - Singapore

its already dark, i hate arriving to a place i've never been to before when its dark. Well actually it isn't that bad, it just makes me anticipate what it looks like in the morning more. You can tell i really am not in a mood to tolerate anticipation. Why? well, for starters im a stranger in a strange land, first destination in four destinations, supposed to be taking care of someone who needs alot of care that deep down inside of me i feel inadequate to provide. Yet everyone else thinks otherwise. I'm not freaking out, seriously i barely know the language actually i don't know a word of it, nor the culture and for Gods sakes I've never been here before, he has...but not me talk about pressure. Anyways, hes supposed to be checking in on his babies ( Investments but he just treats them like babies) and wants "someone" to spot the saboteurs who might get ideas, so for the duration of this trip i am supposed to be Mr. Saboteur Spotter, lol if he only knew.
If he only knew how i feel right now,

So we are in a Taxi headed to the hotel in Downtown Core and he is calling his wife and asking about the kids making sure his 10 year old did well in his Karate tournament (you have to give the guy credit for trying)

"Oh really?....Whats his name?"
He snaps his fingers at me, gesturing to write down what he is about to say...
" Michael Davids.....okay how old is he? 24.....where does he work? Michael what Davids?........any relation to Andrew Davids ? ...So that's all you have,........... Honey i barely have the time to sit down and talk...so just tell me here and now......[ long pause accompanied with steady nodding and "ah hahs"] Okay ill run this through...find out more, She just doesn't see him till we find out who he is and where is he from, okay? talk to you later honey, bye...."

He hangs up and looks to me, telling me how family is the most important investment you have to watch and do all you can to make it perfect.

"It's what really counts in the end Kane, better achievement than any other Investment,"
"Do they know?"
"Of course not, they wouldn't want to know... so i keep it that way.......i know that might sound irregular...but shop stays in shop...no matter how acceptable or unacceptable shop happens to be...so did you take down the info i gave you? give it to that really good guy you have at your firm...what was his name again?"
"Sam"

"yes Sam...but nothing fancy...this guy might be proposing to my daughter...im trying to get a heads up on him...they've been seeing each other for a while now...Gosh she's really grown"

Day One , 23:18 - 7th floor Room 0715 - Fullerton Hotel - Singapore

With a nice harbor view from my room overlooking the Marina Bay...i sit on my laptop to check my emails. Paranoid Investor man called it an early night, normally that would be the opportunity to check out the local nightlife, but I'm glad i didn't. I checked my Business email and got a daily report from Charlene, my Secretary back in Cairo...turns out the case i handled for Mr. Streak ( check out Welcome to The Woods Where the things have no Name for further info about Mr. Streak) had a verdict issued, in favor of his two young kids...so yes we lost...another one lost in the never ending battle between the old guard and the new republic...we are in the age where the young vanquish the old, regardless of how much wisdom or virtue the elderly may posses, they just had their times and should make room for the youngsters. Why should I be complaining I'm a youngster, I'm on the winning team? anyways that's not the point. I check my hotmail account to find a truly unexpected email from someone that hurt me not so long ago. I thought i was the only one still drowning in the sadness. She is too strong and vicious to still be thinking about me and what happened, She probably must have wrote it while Drunk....

"Dear Kane, i know we havent been talking, and last time we did wasnt all that...but you have to know that it is you who made this fail not me, i tolerated your lying and cheating and just acted as if i didnt know...you have to feel guilty for ruining the best thing that has happened to me
You Suck
Susie "

All i can think of while reading this is how much booze did she need in her system to conjure up emailing me... and i just love the logic and how the facts all go blurring to everyone's liking when consuming copious amounts of alcohol. Well come on, lets be frank i should have saw it coming, instead i preferred to sucker myself into believing all the nice stuff she said and did were truly genuine and free from any hidden agendas. I wouldn't doubt if all her other conquests received a similar email with similar tones. Well give her the credit that it wasn't a forward to all of us...

Day Three , 00:37 M Bar- Mandarin Oriental Hotel - Central - Hong Kong - PRC

In the midst of the medium level house/lounge music that makes you wanna shake your not so perfectly formed booty hidden under a pair of tailored pinstriped pants courtesy of George Singer ( yeah i dig local tailors) between in-house prostitutes and business executives and Rogue PRC Generals, Paranoid Investor tells me how we will prolong our stay and head off to Macau, since he is being sweet talked by a Vegas Casino to join them in a venture there. He is just worried that Macau is known as the easiest place for Whales to flush Casinos out...that's why most Casinos there focus on anything but "Gambling" . they go all out on Escort Services, Clubs, Golf Courses...they're trying to wheel in the small fish rather than the Whales and High Rollers.

"But doesn't the house always win?" i ask sheepishly
"Not if you are Yip Honn"
" Yipp Honn The Whale?"
"Not only is he a Whale...all the Casinos consult him and he trains the pit bosses on how Whales work the Casino...he even partnered up in a Casino in Macau...ever heard of the Lisboa? the Biggest Casino in Macau?...he partnered in it, i mean imagine..1970 a Casino only 60km away from Hong Kong..you can take a ferry over, and sleep over i mean the hotel had 1,000 rooms damnit. too bad the guy's dead now....anyways..Stanley Ho is going to open up the Grand Lisboa, a beefed up version of their old venture...him and Honn, he's looking for an investor, someone to come up with foreign money so that they get the foreign investor treatment. he even has Henry Fok pulling all the strings for them back on the mainland..hes slowing the Sands down, and Trump is too focused on real estate in the middle east now to be closing in on Macau... so where meeting Ho tomorrow...actually today, we already are tomorrow..i'm drunk arent i?"

"that would be putting it lightly"
"DAMN i love you Kane...always the right man for the job,.... so did Sam call back on that guy who wants to fuck my daughter?"
"are you sure he hasnt already done that?"
"good point, tell Sam he's getting double, i want a head start over Daughter Fucker...

Am i really the right man for the job? i rest my case....

I call it an early night to do some research on all the Ho's Yips and Foks we're supposed to meet in Macau, what kind of research can you do at 1am in Hong Kong? well there's the internet, and hey its still the acceptable evening in Europe and Back home. I call Sam up and tell him to call all cars on "Daughter Fucker" . Afterwards I call Rankin Fitch who i was introduced to by Mr.Adham ( See Amnesia )

"Kane Boy, whereabouts in the world are you?"
"Hong Kong Mr.Fitch...its made for a man like you"
"Don't really think so...theyre all short with slanted eyes...it scares me, ill stick to the Caucasian variety what do you want I'm in the middle of a fitting for a Tux"
"Information...."
"About?"
"Stanley Ho, Henry Fok and Sociedade de Turismo e Diversoes de Macau held by The Shun Tak Group"
"call my office, ask for Janovich, ill let him know you will be calling"


I then reflect on what Paranoid Investor said about me being the right man for the Job, practically what this means is he needs me, his well being cannot go about without my contribution regardless how little that contribution might be. My thoughts are interrupted by my hotel room phone ringing, its the concierge...Paranoid Investor seems to have had a run in with the law, a serious one, should've expected it...he was too shit-faced to stay outta trouble.

Despite my limited knowledge of Hong Kong Law, crimes seem to be universal, and hence universal also is the way states deal with them. Paranoid Investor finally slept in his hotel bed rather than on the floor of a prison cell, thanks to my efforts, a lot of luck and a little money.

Day Three, 14:02 Clipper Lounge - Mandarin Oriental Hotel - Central - Hong Kong - PRC

While reviewing the fax sent by Janovich ( Fitch's hatchet man) over afternoon tea, Paranoid investor walks in ...and sits down, he looks hungover like hell, and although grateful for my endeavor of last night was overtly ashamed. He's wondering whether or not im going to judge him for it. "come on, at least now you can say you know what it feels like to wear a Chinese prostitute's bra.." he laughs about it...temporarily reassured but then you can tell he isn't..
"none of this to my wife...you hear?...not my wife , not anyone in your firm...nothing..."
"i think you mean nobody..."

what he and a lot of other people don't get is that...we [ professional lawyers] don't judge..we don't even create opinions on you...we just observe, and react...our agenda being, securing your interests...cause if we really acted based on what we really think of you then we'd suck at doing what we do...or we would be horrible people, and honestly...we aren't paid to think of you... What he and a lot of other people also don't get is we already know all your dirt before we take you on as a client, we know what you are capable of, your favorite foods...that silly action figure you shoplifted when you were 12, that year when you didn't file for taxes and we Goddamn know why..., we know where you were and what you were really doing when you were lying your ass off to your wife all those nights claiming you were working and you really were doing someone else, but we aren't neither stupid or cocky enough to let you know we know...its a lot safer for us when you think you are in control...its an illusion...an illusion we create...so that we become better at what we do and get your ass out of the sticky situations your ego and your money get you into.

"Any news on Daughter Fucker?"
"actually yes, Sam came up with a lot...his name is Michael Anthony Davids born August 12th 1983...graduate Cairo University Faculty of Law Class of 2005.. is a Junior Associate at Inglewood & Danjac a corporate services firm...lives in Heliopolis...clean record..only a misdemeanor for assault, it was a bar-fight he got into... Son of Anthony Davids... Factory manager and Janice George housewife...congregates with a close knit group of friends..classmates from school, list of known associates, frequented establishments, no spouses...and oh...he has been seeing your daughter for a while"
"Lawyer huh..."
"legal consultant actually"
"were you classmates?"
"no, can't say the name rings a bell...I was before his time"

We discuss the particulars of what Janovich came up with..., i tell them all there is to know about Stanely Ho's known and not so known History..., the investments hes been in , the whole lot. i also came up with some research as to how ventures come about, regulations governing foreign investors..Paranoid will be considered a foreign investor..limits to partnership...we gotta go in prepared. I told him his exit options didn't look nice unless you allow Ho to buy you out..he took a point of it. but was he really listening?

before boarding the Ferry to Macau, i went up to my room to get cleaned up and wasted some time online on MSN with a friend. She constantly complains about long working hours, she works in advertising. She doesnt seem to get how her boss thinks... if she puts up with the long hours her Boss throws in her face, its going to be the usual. its taking a toll on her life, livelihood and even her health. She tells me thats just the way it is in advertising, im not trying to belittle what she does in any way, but she does it with passion as if shes curing cancer, when at the end of the day its nothing more than emailing, preparing presentations, color correction and dealing with other people who slack and dont have to report to the deadlines that she has to. i respect the passion she has for what she does, i wish i could have the same passion about helping investors put their money in something that has broken hundreds of homes such as gambling, or saving arbitrary detainees from a certain doom of police brutality...or passionate about saving some guy's future from the hands of an abusive company ( like my friends who is ribbed long working hours) or save my unfortunate high school classmate from killing his mom and chopping her up to put her in the freezer. or fighting off a drug company who has a tendency of dumping its industrial waste in the Nile ( a water source for millions) I wish i could be passionate about telling the hundreds of people i have already told that they live in a system that claims they have rights but its the system itself that infringes their very rights. I wish i could be passionate about looking a woman in the eye and telling her that the man who raped her is most probably going to get away with it because she was too overwhelmed to undergo forensic examination within 36 hours of the attack, I wish i could be passionate about telling an old man that it is the government that killed his son and there is nothing he can do about it... I wish i could be passionate about telling every political activist i meet that whatever they do wont change a thing, that anything save taking up arms is merely futile....i wish i could be passionate about preserving the status quo and making money out of that...why the money? what did i do to deserve it? its hush money nothing more, we pay you as grievance for the shit you just have to see..? is it much? well i hope so...i mean if my friend at advertising makes more money than i do, who do you think is better off...blind and rich? or aware and poor?...why didn't i work in advertising? maybe then i wouldn't have the time to think about all this trivial garb...id be spending my entire day sending emails and doing color corrections, meetings, and presentations...

Day Three, 22:27 , Xanadu Lounge - Sands Macaou - Macau- PRC

okay, i hate to be cynical, but what kind of people discuss building a casino, in a rival casino? well okay this Stanely Ho guy has his hands in all gaming in Macau..but i mean why not go at the Lisboa...? turns out his daughter Josie Ho is a renowned pop singer and actress, and she has a number at the Xanadu lounge in a competitors Casino...( Ho also has an invisible stake at the Sands, so its kinda okay) but it was more of a mental note to add to all the notes that tell me that i really am way over my head with all these people. the meeting was the usual flaunt with some business on the side...a few courses and lots of drinks later, Paranoid Investor excuses himself to make a phone call outside in the corridor. Im approached by the singer's half sister and CEO of STDM Pansy Ho and she asks me what are my clients main investment concern, in addition to a failed attempt on her part to assess his solvency... i try to be as courteous as possible telling her he would be more qualified to answer that and seeing her time is of the essence i will go fetch him for her from the corridor. The moment i enter the corridor...i see him almost 20 meters away...all worked up, i can tell even though he is giving me his back...but you can tell from the tone of his voice...i heard it right there, clear as crystal in my own native tounge;


هي حصلت نتناسب من محامين؟

Day Four 23:30, Room 1228 - Park Hyatt Tokyo, Nishi Shinjuku - Tokyo- Japan

Trying as much as possible to retain professionalism after i heard what i heard. Hey i am human, i am entitled to be offended. but why am i not surprised? it happened to me before when i wanted to apply for a loan to get my first car the banks told me they don't lend lawyers, like we are some undesirables that dont meet the bar of people they would want to deal with, then this Paranoid Investor thinks working as a lawyer is good enough a reason to not marry his daughter off to someone, they have lawyer jokes, but not engineer jokes or banker jokes...its just us and accountants, and accountants get off easy...although it was accountants that were behind Enron...BCCI and in every embezzlement, theres always an accountant.

Seriously, are lawyers all that bad? you tell us about stuff you're ashamed of admitting to anyone else, we help you in your time of need, we don't judge you , like i said before we don't even create an impression about you, we tell you what to do and Goddamn it we help you with it we probably are the only people who get you results, your IT expert blames it on a bug, or requires you to download an undownloadable upgrade, your doctor cant give you a conclusive yes or no, your physical trainer blames it on your willpower, your parents blame you and your generation, your children blame you on how you bought them up, your friends blame you on not taking their advice, your Shaikh blames it on your lack of Faith, your boss blames it on your lack of professionalism..we, well we just make it disappear.
You turn to us when there's nobody else to turn to, we make it all go away like it was a bad dream, we help you use the system to get what you deserve, we clean up the mess YOU made, and you go about your life once more stronger than before and with more faith in your capabilities to either bring about prosperity or havoc. we advise you on every little tid bit, at any time of the Goddamn day, we dont have you check in with us first thing in the morning, or when the weekend is over, we help you fight corruption, discrimination, injustice and all the other ills of mankind, we enrich your knowledge on things you should've originally taken to heart, we help solve the unsolvable, maybe even touch you in the most irrelevant of ways but turn you into a better human being.
We protect you, even from your own self...
We help you have that perfect life of yours despite your imperfections, we are tempted to obliterate your peaceful existence at every moment cause we can... but we don't.. because we take our privilege responsibly.
And then,

We aren't good enough for you?


Who is good enough for you if we aren't?

I mean is everyone else so clean and squeaky? no Contractors that cut costs and buildings fall? no business men that runoff with other peoples money? no Doctors that forget instruments and towels in the guts of patients? no cops that beat up suspects and deny due process? no politicians that philander? no Bankers that run off with the loose change? no drug companies that come up with the disease before the cure ? no marketeers that convince you with a product you don't need and having you save up and work your ass off to buy it? and only when you do another new and improved one comes up that makes the old one look like shit? no sales men conning you into buying things you don't need? or you end up buying something that you never really wanted ? no stockbrokers that make you put all your life savings into a worthless shares only for them to rise up and the stockbroker piggybacks on your investment? no importers that dump the market with unsafe and cheap products? no steel magnates monopolizing local and foreign markets? no petroleum companies that influence governments to wage wars against inferior nations so that they can get more off-take agreements and exploit more natural resources? don't get me started.

All job types have all walks of life...both the crooked and the decent, the crooked will always be crooked, even if he's a Priest in Boston, the decent, will always be decent, even if hes a lawyer in Cairo who happens to be contemplating sanity on 50th floor of the second tallest skyscraper in Tokyo.

Ditched!

No thats not the latest name of a new fragrance from Dior, although i think they should come up with one along the same lines. Let's face it...how many girls go through that phase and need to feel better about themselves, how many times does the same girl go through this in her one solitary life? maybe once, maybe never , maybe all the time...either way, to overcome it she

should feel good about herself, experience her self worth. Smelling nice is definetly a part of that.

Scents and Fragrances aside, its natural to villify the culprit ( in this case the Ditching Dork), it brings a sense of closure. Victimization always helps and is natural in the healing process against Trauma, but why do girls still hang on? why do they have this glimmer of hope that things -if we try hard enough- will be just like they were?

Girl get over it, HE DITCHED you...ignore the phone, he wont send a message to try to win you back.

But Kane, he didnt give me a good enough reason why we cant be together...

Even better a reason for you to understand that he really doesnt want you....so why are you chasing after him? why are you waiting for that call that he will never make? why are you thinking about him all the time? why are you thinking of him at the times you should be thinking of someone else...face it, you are out on a date with this dream guy your best friend has been dying to fix you up with for ages, you reluctantly go for it beleiving you should move on. The guy is keen and most certainly interested, you can tell he is putting in alot of effort. When you size him up hes a keeper, Smart, Successful , Neat, Composed, Nice Watch, Nicer Shoes, cool smile, ambitious, makes a few jokes here and there...but everything he does, no matter how original, no matter how nice , no matter how flattering just leads you to the exact same thought...

"Old Guy would have done it better"

Why do you do that? why do you think that? why does he have dibs on you when it comes to relationships, hes ditched you hence a) he doesnt deserve to have dibs, and most importantly b) he obviously doesnt care...if he cared he wouldn't have ditched you in the first place. Why do you leave everything you are doing, and give him your complete and undivided attention the moment he makes contact? even if you are at a Party and supposed to have the time of your life...theres this hunk whos into you...and has been dying to wait for the perfect oppertunity for you to be available...the time is now...and hes much better than the old guy...you are supposed to be having the time of your life with someone who really cares, and is obviously into you..then old guy sends a message...

your thoughts just shift into another dominion..

the memories fly back, you are drowned in all the good times you had...and how great it felt...and how sweet and considerate it is of him to send you something...do you think he wants me back ?

erm excuse me...what about that great guy right there sitting on the table, waiting for you...hes been dreaming of you for quite a while...has the thought ever occurred to you that maybe with him you can start something so good that could actually make you forget old guy and merely chuckle at his mention?

Old guy is long gone, face it he ditched you...he must have had a good reason, if he doesnt...then that in itself is good enough a reason..i mean, he ditched you now for no good a reason, what would stop him from ditching you later on?

New guy is here to stay, he thought of you even when you were occupied, he waited for the right moment to step in, when you were available once more...not only did he respect the disrespectful old guy by not moving in on him but he also respected your decision to stay with the jerk...even though it was a wrond decision and he totally disagreed with it...yet here you are in the corner of the club...holding your phone wondering what to text back to Old guy...whos definetly just bored...and having some fun at your expense..and you know it!!! yet you come up with excuses for a guy who is not even coming up with excuses for himself..look back at the table...there is a guy...who is waiting to give you all you ever wanted, and probably all what the old guy didnt give you..

Bottom line

Dont text back, close the phone get back to your table and start small talk with the guy that maybe might be the face you wake up to for a good ten years...

This Post is Dedicated to three girls i know well..they've all been ditched recently ...they

know my faith in them to overcome their old guys is well placed. ;)

The Bedtime Storyteller

So i was in Stara Zagora - a provincial town in Bulgaria- for two days doing nothing but waiting. sometimes its all you need to clear your head and sit down and have a nice conversation with your overcrowded thoughts, which as you can tell...did happen. I also felt a little poetic ( hey you cant blame me...Stara Zagora is known for its poets) and realized how alot of people forget about alot of things that were integral back in the day but now just...i dont know, Blahze maybe?

How many people do you know were told bedtime stories as children? did it make them better children in comparison to the people you know who werent told bedtime stories? what kind of stories were they told? ones that stimulate their imagination? something to wrap them in a blanket of fantasy just before they let loose with all their crazy and movie worthy dreams? or were they merely repeated legends passed down from generation to generation to create tradition and cultural heritage? or were they simply anecdotes that teach you a few primitive lessons about life...( i mean they have to be primitive...you cant really tell kids bedtime stories about money, drugs and political interests as a child...i guess if you want to you would have to settle for a 90's version of the emperor's new clothes)

Nevertheless, Bedtime Storytelling is becoming close to extinct in our ever speed shifting excuse of a life...my cousin has 2 kids...but never the time nor energy to tell them stories of flying boys in green who refuse to grow up...or little blonde girls in blue and white who take too many pills and end up talking to doorknobs and have tea with fluffy animals and crazy card players...

so instead...he brings them limited edition DVDs of Alice in Wonderland, and Peter Pan for them to play on their LCD screen on a mantle...where probably previous generations either had a family portrait or bookshelf.

I have nothing against my cousin...he is not a bad parent, i have nothing against the choice of upbringing he has for his children...i have everything against the world that compells him to make such a choice.

My parents stopped telling me bedtime stories when i was old enough to read..they didnt want me to be dependent. fair enough, but frankly im sure i missed out on alot...cause i look at my sister...who had me to tell her all the bedtime stories she wanted to hear, and i look at myself. Her imagination is even wilder than mine..(some might think that is impossible but trust me shes got the better half of that) okay, okay, ill give myself the credit for a change and admit that i'd come up with most of the stories on the spot right there. She'd always predict a great storytelling future for me, be it in the form of a writer, actor, journalist, director...or maybe even stand up comedian ( but i tried that back in 2004 and ended up making a fool of myself infront of a crowd of 400+ and some nomads) even a lawyer is a form of storytelling ( very convincing storytelling might i add)

So anyways back to Stara Zagora...i was bored out of my head and decided to take a walk. it is quite a small city...but rather sunny for a European city especially since this is November people...we are talking close to sub zero temperatures...( guess this is just practice for the time ill spend in Siberia). So im walking around town and theres this little pavement cafe to next to what could be called the town centre...i notice this old man, very prissy ...in a nice off-white/ beige suit...hat matching scarf and everything, covering it up with a nice navy blue coat..he was drinking tea i guess, and was totally into the book he was reading..minding his own business, i mean even if a Ferrari zoomed by and crashed into a Hummer...in the middle of this nowhere town which probably is not home to niether car...add to that its not one of those passing through towns either, he wouldnt budge...not even flinch...

thats how much he was into whatever he was reading.

I pass him...and without lifting his eyes out of the book in a typical eastern european accent says:

"Sit down, i will be with you in a minute"

to my exclamation i was finally glad to meet someone who doesnt talk Bulgarian...but who the hell is this person and what does he want with me.

My curiousity getting the best of me told me to sit down, which i did.

"do you have good bedtime stories" he asked

"no but give me one and i will tell it quite nicely" i found myself answering back.

"Whatever happened to your imagination Roger?"

"My name isn't Roger...im afraid you have the wrong person sir.."

"if you were the wrong person, i wouldnt have you sitting down on the same table i am seated on and wouldnt be asking about the deterioration of your skill to conjure up fiction for sheer entertainment"

I decide to play along,

"Okay, you have me there...i am Roger, i was only playing"

"well, remember your sister Roger? the one you used to tell stories?...Mischa?"

"yes i do"

"where is she now Roger? where is she?"

"erm...last time i checked she was eaten by a trio of Lithuanian mercenaries, and very properly digested..i recall examining their shit a few days later..to find my sisters teeth in it...just like chunks of corn only white..and shiny"

"oh now that is truly dreadful roger...well ill get to the point..."

"please do..."

"i have a daughter...she's dying, the only thing that would make her better is if you can tell her a bedtime story. come to the castle on the hill tomorrow...tell her a Bedtime Story and be on your way.."

As night falls...i trod up the hill to reach the isolated Castle on the outskirts of town. I wonder to myself why is it that most Castles i have visited, if inhabited are always visited at night? the only conclusion i came to is -Castle or no Castle- most of your visits to anyone are at night...

Nobody listens to Bedtime Stories in the morning, even if before an afternoon nap...everyone is too entrenched and engulfed in the lies they live in the morning only to show their true colors at night? or is it the other way round? well its relative, and i think that is me trying to be a tad bit too philosophical...i should stick to what im good at....

Bedtime Stories.

I reach the Castle's entrance...not your scary looming structure that freaks the hell out of you when a flash of lightning lights up the sky in a sudden and unexpected burst...its just a nice Big and grand stone structure...with a little ivy growing in the cracks..the driveway is paved a dark and opaque marble...there are two cars parked next to one another as if they are on a date...the first which seemed quite out of place was a Yellow 69 mustang...i didnt even know 69 mustangs came in yellow. could be a paintjob...but a good one...for Bulgarian Standards at least. the second was an old ( as in 40s) white Citroen something more of what the old man from the cafe would be driving...so i automatically assumed the Citroen belongs to prissy old man...and the mustang belongs to dying little girl...daughter of prissy old man. i walk into the short entrance and find myself in a cobbled landing...there is a rather robust old woman on the side...with a huge mess of foam and detergent around her...seated in a crouch position in front of a large round wooden tub...you can tell from the smell of the detergent that she is washing she has a colored scarf wrapped around her head..with few strands of hair ecaped the clutches of the sweaty scarf. she sees me and smiles...donning her blackened gums and what few teeth remain attached...

Teeth....

I saw Mischa's...Teeth in their droppings. they ate her...to survive yes...but they ate her...they ate one of their kind...consumed her like we consume cows everyday...eat them, digest them and then make them become an eternal part of us...what we dont like we let out of us...as waste...Just like Mischa's Teeth...

She had beautiful Teeth...
Which made her have a beautiful smile...gone...eaten, devoured.

Prissy old man waved from a window...and jestured me to come up....when we finally reached his Daughter Alexa's room...all i can think of was Mischa...and how she'd listen to my stories.

Alexa was a good listener...she gives you feedback with her facial expressions...intrigue, excitement, anticipation, boredom, all appeared clearly through a series of systematic nods...wide eyed stares and raised eyebrows....and a couple of pouts. She seemed quite jovial for someone awaiting their death. From what i understood it was quite a terminal illness that nothing can be done about. She really is accepting her fate i guess.

Alexa smelt like someone about to die...you know that smell...musty and sick, with all the bacteria and worms and maggots waiting to eat you..once you have no immunity..disgusting creatures...scavengers...

well at least they dont kill for feeding...they feed on what already is dead...

Whats bothering you most ? the fact they killed her cause they were hungry? or the fact that she was eaten?

Don't know..its just an awful thing to do...

Fuck you Issei Sagawa, Fuck you Jeoffery Dahmer,

they're cowards...they can't scavenge...its ego...not gastronomic hunger...

i will kill you

i will fuck you

i will eat you

you will be part of me..forever...

thats their chain of thought..they want to glorify the victim immortalize them as long as they themselves exist, not out of love of the victim...but out of envy...they see something in the victim they might lack, and covet it, they destroy you...and take it for themselves...they are threatened...by yor very existence..they erase you..and in a way become you..no, you become them..a living part of them, that regenerates, grows with them...

Sick

Sick

Sick

I want my Mischa back...i want to tell her Bedtime Stories, stories of men in a land who arent afraid of being eaten, of women who dont fuck for power, who dont perceive life as an eternal battle between genders and a test to prove superiority, in a world where man doesnt kill man or reign supreme over his fellow man to satisfy his ego, preserve his blood or juice up his bank account. a world where i need not look over my shoulder, where i can just love people and never worry about them seeing harm, strife or suffering, a place where Injustice cannot flourish, a place where Apathy can't breathe, a place i can share with my kind

A Secret place

My Secret Place

My Bedtime Stories...