The legend of the Pizza and the Jew

Over the course of last week, i got to meet a few interesting people...

Manny Vega: Simply put, manny (real name Manolo) is an Ad executive in Cartalena... he looks like a typical colombiano... dresses like a typical colombiano and gives off that "peace dude..life is good" vibe. I'm sure you are going like....so what what is so interesting about that? ill tell you what is so interesting ; how many times in this day and age, do you meet someone who genuinely and i stress on the word genuinely are happy with the way their lives are going? and Manny isnt exactly Senor Success...hes just a regular guy, with a regular job that in his country nobody needs (theyre too preoccupied with kidnapping and getting their kids off Cocaine) . However despite that he is fueled with great ambition...but does he cry everyday about how horrible life is to him? or how he isnt getting his chance? no...he's making the best of what hes getting.. and he is geniunely content.......you have to experience Manny Vega in order to understand what i am talking about, his cheerful demeanor is definately worth commendation.

Meyer Lansky: Meyer Lansky works at some center for curing male reproductive disease in Havana...he looks like a Jewish Jewel thief especially the way he browses around to acquaint himself with his surroundings. He talks about his Job all the time and talks about it as if he is curing cancer....although his job is all about checking male genetalia all day long, which definately isnt something nice for a guy but i commend him for his passion.
what is interesting about Lansky is like all havanians he has a night job, he's a freelance repo man....simply put, banks hire him to reposess cars that were financed to the banks cheap clients and havent paid back. He told me this story once of a "drive" he had to do in reposessing an old 49 T-Bird ( for those of you who never been to Cuba, the newest Car there is a model 58) so anyways, back to the 49 T- Bird, the Car was bought by a retired Military police officer, who after retirment paid alot of his former subordinates to guard his Villa, Lansky being the slick thief he is snuck into the place and when confronted by the Guards paid them off with Egyptian 1 pound bills, claiming they were antique pharoanic banknotes which could be sold for millions, and simply drove off in the 49 T -Bird. a few seconds later one of the boys playing in the neighbourhood who was periodically treated to strawberry flavoured lollies from the retired General actually risked his life and jumped into the cabriolet and bit Lansky on his slim bony bottom. I had the rare oppertunity of being displayed Lansky's injuries in that spectacle and i tell you that kid had one lollies to many.......man he packed a nasty bite!!!!


Anyways the point i am mentioning to you either Manny Vega or Myer Lansky is that they are two ordinary people, who have a lot of problems in their lives. Barely making ends meet put always manage to smile in the face of the world. when i always come back to Cairo, i see many glum faces, very rarely do i see anyone who barley forces one out of their lips... im sure none of us have to dodge ass-biting cuban street kids or touch other peoples privates for a living, but we always walk around with long faces just as if we've been fired or dumped by our wives of 19 years. I mean do we really have problems? or we just creating them for ourselves in order to satisfy the level of drama needed to live healthily?

Bottom Line : people who complain, are only after attention, people who never complain are too overwhelmed with real problems that they want to forget about them hence never talk about them.

PS: if emotions were edible...a smile would be a Pizza...its just staring at you with a smile even though it is about to meet its eater.

If playing the victim were an ethnic group, it would be the Jew

So stop being a Jew, be a Pizza for a change

I take it back: Danny i owe you an apology

last night i did something i have been wanting to do for almost 2 years, which was watch the next James Bond Movie. It surprisingly hit theatres quite suddenly. but before telling you what happened last night i want to take you 9 months earlier when they announced who the sixth bond is going to be :

It was down to 4 finalists:

1- Clive Owen
2- Julian MacMahon ( the hunk we all know as Christian Troy from Nip Tuck)
3- Daniel Craig (the gangsta from layer cake and one of the assassins in Munich)
4- some czech hunk


My money was on Julian since he physically would have made a great bond. His performances in Nip Tuck proved he would be able to pull the part, although there is something sacred about 007 that just cant make anyone don the tux and just start shooting through the eagle eye.
We are talking of a legend that has been there for more than 40 years. the most succesful franchise in modern marketing history and one that manages to adapt to the changes and broken the golden rule of movie making that sequels suck. It needs a lot of balls to stand in the shoes of someone like Sean Connery, and your performance would be compared to his...wow can u imagine? your first shot at mainstream spotlight and they're comparing me to connery right away? talk about career russian roulette. Its true, im not making mountains out of anthills look at Dalton? where is he now? Lazenby never got a role again after OHMSS ( On Her Majesty's Secret Service).

Anyways they chose Daniel Craig ( the man in the middle)........a Blond to play the legendary incarnation of Ian Fleming's fantasies. In objection my nick on MSN was Blond.......James Blond for a week.
i said goodbye to my addiction, with all the original creators dead (Fleming, Broccoli , the novels) i shall no longer be a James Bond fan.

I watched Layer Cake a month ago, it was my first time to take notice of Craig. he was good...real Good, but i was still convinced although his perfomance in Layer Cake made me put it up on the shelf with Casino , Goodfellas , scarface and true lies. i still doubted his capability to pull off being Bond. I was later told that he played a role in munich , although i did see the movie i barely noticed him, (typical spielberg, great storyteller, but totally buries his actors) so i watched it again. i respected Craig as an Actor, yet despised the fact that he is bond........i mean its exactly like getting Charlie Chaplin and ask him to portray a mafia hitman......Chaplin is a legendary comedian, but he cant be a good drama actor.

Then came the big day........last night, watching the legendary 007 pull it off for the 21st time ..the opening sequence got a 3 on my scale...the theme song and its sequence an 8 or even a nine as for the rest of the film....well its kind of complicated, read on

If to you Bond movies are strictly about the gadgets cars and the unbeleivable shit Bond does to save the world and women you are in for a total dissapointment.

But this one is a pretty Good Bond movie in my book, i left the showing feeling grateful knowing that Bond is still in capable hands ( Barbra....Cubby's daughter has not failed Ian's vision)

Craig manages to portray a Bond we have never seen on screen before, he is the Bond i fell in love with and grown up to respect, the James Bond of the novels, not of the movies...that Raw Killer who is pure evil that just happend to be on the side of the Good guys.....that was always what Bond is supposed to be....a Bad Guy, one nobody would disagree that the world is better off without the likes of him, but he happens to be with the good guys. That is the Dilemma that defines the Existence of Bond. You'd rarely feel it in the movies, ever since after Connery and Bond is that suave good looking nice guy that you automatically fall in love with , that is not Bond...that could be superman, or lethal weapon or any action hero, but Bond is no Hero...he kills people !

killing people is not heroism......yes he does it for a good cause since hes sanctioned by the Queen.......but then again he still is an assassin,

Anyways back to the Sixth Bond.....Daniel Craig , that Bond you see in Casino Royale is a grittier more raw Bond...very dark and sinister...its not about the bling bling to him, hes about getting the job done and for a lot of moments throughout the movie, you forget that he is the Good guy.

What Craig also adds is a depth of Character not experienced since Connery...yes the producers on several occasions tried to make Bond real by being defeated sometimes, take Die another Day for example when he was tortured for months.....that failed miserably and showed Bond as weak........ppl there is a difference between getting caught, and being weak about it.....this is very clear in this one. Since Bond gets beaten up alot in this one, and is even tortured......he still is tortured Bond style......and it looks soo spontaneous, he isnt acting.....he is Bond.
that scence where hes "got an itch" and the "last hand almost killed me" classic Bond attitude man........

Like the title says Danny, i owe you an apology......i didnt think you could pull it off without dissapointing me
Sorry....

For all you people out there, who hate Bond and think its a load of bull........go see Casino Royale then make your judgement........FYI the novel Casino Royale is the first Novel Ian Fleming ever wrote, it was supposed to be the first Bond.......but it never was an EON production. this supposedly shows you Bond from the begining . the very begginging. I dare you to not like it.

And in response to someone out there, (you know who you are) i just want you to know...i am not Bond nor am i trying to be him.......Bond is Me and trying to be me.......

From Man to Mouse : Nazareyet el Kees

Thank you, all of you. Now i will have to agree with my Dad everytime he says that they dont make men like they used to. Every place i walk into, every couple i meet (apart from a few unnotable exceptions) i dont see a man and a woman, i see a woman holding a Kleenex in her hand . I see a Lioness and a mouse, doing all he can desperately do in order to prevent his eventual devourment from a predator who is playing with her food.

"Why? why does it have to be this way?"

I'd like to meet one man, just one...ragel sa7eb sa7bo like we say in our nice little country that would stand up to his woman. look i know it is all about sacrifice and compromise but this is downright ridiculous. I mean i aint exactly a Genius but isnt it down right clear to you ya bob innak Kees? Kees belastic metkarmesh ? is it the sex? has she turned you into a slave because of the carnal pleasures she provides? i mean i have seen men turn into mice after they get married, even beofre that when stuff is only a silly relationship that shouldnt mean anything life changingly serious, men who have career changes in order to suit their loveyy coocha's perception of what they could be? is finding the right one soo hard that you are willing to turn into jerry's grey little cousin just to keep her? is it alot better to have someone and become a slave than to have nobody at all?......despicable if it has to be this way. no seriously....

I know by now you think ive got it all wrong, but just listen, the next time you walk into a cafe or a mall or a movie theatre or just look into the car next to you while you are stuck on the 6th of October bridge...you will see what i mean.

I know what you have to say, Love is all about sacrifice and compromise and all that altruisitc bullshit Women come up with. But beleive me , it doesnt have to be this way. I want to ask you something, im sure most of us have seen Desperado, that last scene when Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek run off into the sunset, they're in Looove baby, but do you picture them 2 years down the line sittin in some bar sippin on their tequilas that he is going to be the wuss i see every 15 minutes or is Salma going to still be thanking God almighty every damn minute that she is with this heck of a Guy?
I wanna see 35 million versions of Antonio Banderas in this country, and i want to see 35 million versions of salma hayek hugging onto the tailcoats of those men...cause they are real men.

If turning into a wuss is the price i have to pay for falling in Love....Then you heard it here first Amigo....

Fuck Love.......i'd rather be a Man with no Woman than a Mouse with a Lioness.