Some Fucking Nostalgia

This isn't exactly what i signed up for,
I expected less, I expected simple..
I expected having my own little world, with the people i chose, and shut out the rest completely.
I don't like the world i see, and hell i can't do anything about it.
How am i supposed to make do?
I guess ill have my own little bubble...where the fantasies that fueled my smiles when i was 7 return...to fuel my squints, winks, and maybe even smirks...
But they wont even let me blow my own bubble and live inside it. They all don't want me to find happiness.
Yes i am blaming them, because my interests do not harm theirs...but theirs do harm mine
Who is the bad guy now?
Seebooni fe 7aali........ana geet gamboko?
In my quest i have seen, met and heard the wierdest sights, the strangest people and the absurdest statements, and i wonder again, how did i end up into all of this.

The Beach: its exactly like the good old days when id pick my surfboard (yes i did have washboards one day) to catch a wave, you wait for it, go with the flow and let it take you to the shore where you want to go. but then something happens, the wave is wilder than you expected...the tip of your board rises too high...you cant keep your balance, and you are engulfed back first into the wave in its final battle in futile fury...
You try to resist, and realize that its not exactly the best idea, you let go...wondering where you will end up...and you end washed up on the shore with alot of sand in your swimsuits, hair, and even in your mouth. you look at yourself and say.......okay, this isnt exactly what i had in mind, and you ask yourself why did i take this wave?
The problem is, the analogy isnt even correct, cause in reality you only get one wave... but its what the wave does to you that best describes it..

1. a looming tower of water that intrigues you to take it
2. a wild ride
3. a Very sandy landing
4. a dissapointing destination with possible damage

Question is, am i dissapointed?

You see i love building fortresses in the sand too but i always hated having the sand stuck between my nails, the problem with playing in the sand is, it gets pretty messy...but hey you are there...so why dont u just play in the sand...humans are ground creatures, if they were meant to conquer the sea, God would have created them with fins...or even gills...plus a fortress on the shore will last..till the tide at least, or some wad zareef who will kick it once u leave the beach as for the wave...its gone after u ride it...only to be replaced by another...

and another...
and another..

The Commute: sometimes, your job takes you across town, sometimes across the street, and alot of the times across the world, the last two cant really be called a commute, so ill stick to the first one. In a city loaded with traffic, you always have two paths, the direct one which is predictable, secure, yet normal, the easy route..and then theres the other way out, the one with the wierd sights..the risky weaving through traffic, and the stupid slow drivers in the way. Very stressful, not always guaranteed to take you where you want to go without significant damage to both your car and mood, but law salka...beteb2a SALKA...and you will get to where you want to go with your navy blue Jalopy faster than the next mofo with the fastest and reddest Ferrari in town.
You can take it, the beggining of the route beckons...you look at your watch and assume, its a win or lose situation could be salka or could be hell. You take it...
mid way you realize it was a wrong move. should you repeat your mistake and take another shemal fe yemeen on a parallel route? or just eat the toast you burnt?
I mean you can always be just late and blame it on traffic...
yet all roads lead to Rome...
No matter which route you take, you will always get where you want to go.

The Dinner: sometimes, your Social life takes you to sit down and have dinner with different people, some of them are pleasant, and leave an impression making you want to repeat it. some of them arent all that proper and you lose the number as soon as you close your car door. Some of them recommend a dish, engage in talk that you just don't want the night to end...to the extent that the restaurant manager doesnt want you to leave and asks for your number to give him pointers..Not because he thinks you are the shit...its because who you are with makes you the shit...
and some of them kill the flower on the table, or put their feet up, emit gastrointestinal noises mid-meal, or just lunge at you in the middle of a no longer discreet arguement and make you wonder how did u end up here exactly?
Despite all that, there is always the eternal dilemma of what dish to choose...
everything sounds delicious on the menu...but alot of the time when the dish is served on the plate right between your fork and kinfe you ask yourself...did i order this? Hell i dont want that...should i ask the waiter to take it back? what if he spits in it? will i have to pay for it and the other thing i ordered?
or should i just eat what i have been served...some people cant afford a grain of rice in Africa.

However, Them africans have access to shitloads of Diamonds, you could have just taken the bridge, or build that fortress on higher ground where the tide, and the 3eyal habla cant really reach it. And there is always the option of taking another street, catching another wave, or waiting till your next meal.

Smashing!

Pumpkins,

yeech! but this one is no ordinary Pumpkin, this one is a bullet with butterfly wings...my reflection in the mirror, born of love and cast through light...don't you know we cannot die...you can live with this one where no one will watch you on your way home...

This one, like no other... holds a bass guitar,
This one honors the family name better than the hockey star...
This one dresses like a star, always makes a statement, even if its just with shoes...
She will never be replaced, although someone has taken her place..
No Hole can ever fill her place...
We can never forget your cries in Zero...
to which we all think of you as a Hero

D'arcy Wretzky..this Post is for you,...strike the chords forever...

dedicated to the Three D'arcys , the Zeitgiest, Sukie and all the Smashing Pumpkins fans out there.

For God & Country...
2allak 2edrab...

20 Questions

Nope, not the game, these are 20 questions i am truly sick and tired of hearing:

Q1: Are you Happy?
A: I guess
What I really mean: You don't see me jumping off a bridge and leaving a fucking note now do you?

Q2: Whats new?
A: Not much...
What I really mean: You'd be truly pathetic if I happen to be your source of current events.

Q3: Wa7eshni ya man, inta Ghatsan feen?
A: mafeesh ya 3am, enta elli ghatsan
What I really mean: Well why dont you reach for your phone and call me every once in a while you hypocritical fuck!!!

Q4: Netsharaf be 2esm 7adretak?
A: ....Osiris Kane
What I really mean: ana mesh gay 2at3arraf ya K*s Om*k khalasni...

Q5: *said while you are walking into a place* aiwa ya Ostaz?
A: Na3am....
What I really mean: *in Clint Eastwood mode* go ahead, make my day

Q6: Are you a player?
A: huh?
What I really mean: oh, so you are one of them structured girls...I guess I'm wasting my time

Q7: Do you still think of me / have feelings for me?
A: of course i do...
What I really mean: look, I'm not exactly hot shit...move on, get a life...find a guy that'll make you forget i ever even existed...do you want Brad Pitts number?

Q8: Wow, you are a Lawyer? do you like stand in front of a judge and shit?
A: erm...yeah
What I really mean: What the Fuck? do you ever ask a Doctor does he open up patients and write prescriptions? i mean... there are millions of us out there...

Q9: wow, you cook?
A: i have to eat you know...
What I really mean: Walk into any Kitchen of any fucking place that serves food...you'll find a man sweating over a stove, so seriously..don't be impressed.

Q10: mesh nawi tetgawez?
A: leeh bas ya 3am...?
What I really mean: oh and end up like you? no thanks...oh and btw, if i ever do, you wont be invited to the wedding

Q11: Does this make me look fat?
A: yes
What I really mean: You wont get a compliment outta me, so go fish somewhere else.

Q12: Whats wrong? *said generally*
A: nothing its okay....
What I really mean: Its none of your business

Q13: Whats wrong? *said specifically*
A: nothing, its okay...
What I really mean: Ask yourself, see where you fucked up...and thats exactly whats wrong

Q14: How do you represent someone who you know is guilty?
A: look, its not my job to make him get away with something he's done, my job is to help the judge have a clear picture of his side of the story, so that he gets what he deserves, its never about winning or losing, if he gets 7 years, and he deserves 3...then i should find something better to do, if he deserves 7 and gets 3, then im an accomplice, and that doesnt make me feel in any way better. Guilty doesn't mean he still doesn't have a right to get the best defense he can afford. but beleive me he aint paying his way outta murder. This isnt John Grisham okay, this is real life, its less controversial and less exciting and most certainly less dramatic...although we wish it weren't
What I really mean: Fuck You!

Q15: We eeh tani?
A: ...............
What I really mean: say something for the love of God

Q16: Are you pissed?
A:....Eshta, Peace......
What I really mean: You fucked up...you know it, now fix it...

Q17: How was your day?
A: not bad...
What I really mean: wow, am I really that boring?

Q18: How was last night?
A: Zareef
What I really mean: hehehe....you have no idea....!

Q19: Inta mesa7eb?
A: I don't date....
What I really mean: It's none of your business...as far as you are concerned, my personal life is totally non-existent...

Q20: Any plans for tonight?
A: No, Call me...lets do something...
What I really mean: No, Call me...lets do something...